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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24347872">Healing Through Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/1_MadHat_1/pseuds/1_MadHat_1'>1_MadHat_1</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Buck being a big ol' dad, Canon Divergence, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, I just can't, Literal angel Chris, M/M, They are so in love dude, anxious buck, apologizes, sad buck, sugar sweet ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:21:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,831</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24347872</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/1_MadHat_1/pseuds/1_MadHat_1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Because of the lawsuit Buck has been struggling in every possible way, but when he is at his worst he gets a call from Chris' school and it changes everything.<br/>OR<br/>What if during the lawsuit Buck got a call from Christopher's school because he's listed as an emergency contact and they can't get a hold of Eddie?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1004</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>9-1-1 Tales</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Healing Through Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A big thank you to CasTheButler for the prompt!!</p>
<p>This was honestly so fun to write and I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Also, I apologize in advance for the name of Christopher's school, I don't think that it has a canon name so I just made one up and lets just say it isn't the most imaginative. To put it lightly. Anyway, enjoy!!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Buck stares dejectedly at his TV screen while it mockingly flashes the words “You Have Died” over and over again. He thinks that maybe before his whole life fell apart he would have groaned or thrown the controller, but now he just stares at the message. To think that he had decided to play video games as a way to forget about his crippling sadness is laughable now. Nothing can take his mind off the fact that he blew up his entire life and is now left in the aftermath completely and utterly alone. He wishes more than </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> that he could go back. Looking at the words still flashing garishly on the screen just reminds him of the fact that he can’t do anything right, not even a stupid </span>
  <em>
    <span>video game</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span>And then, since he is obviously in no control over where his mind is wandering, he starts thinking about Eddie and the grocery store incident. Like he didn’t already hate himself enough and then Eddie had to go blindsiding him by talking about Chris. As much as he loves that kid it would never in a million years occur to Buck that Chris would actually miss</span> <span>him </span><em><span>back</span></em><span>. God, Eddie’s right, he </span><em><span>is </span></em><span>exhausting, can’t get any-fucking-thing right. He can feel himself starting to swirl into the ocean of the never ending self hate that he has been living in lately when his phone rings. </span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The sharp sounds snaps him back to the present but he can still feel the ugly hate wiggling ceaselessly right underneath his skin. He’ll probably just go to sleep after this, it’s easier to shut himself down than try to drag himself out of the darkness, he supposes. He sluggishly grabs at his phone, since he is already painfully aware that it isn’t any of his friends, he doesn’t even bother to fake any enthusiasm. It’s not surprising to see the unknown number lighting up his screen but his stupid heart drops anyway, old habits die hard. When a wave of exhaustion hits him he nearly doesn’t answer, but, what else does he have to do? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Evan Buckley,” he tiredly states into the speaker when he dishearteningly presses the green “accept” button. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi, Mr. Buckley, this is the Los Angeles Elementary School’s nurse’s office. I’m calling because you are listed as Christopher Diaz’s emergency contactー” The soothing tone of the woman’s voice is such a sharp juxtaposition to the news that Buck’s head starts spinning. He can’t stop himself from rudely interjecting,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is Chris okay?” His voice has a clear layer of panic to it as he quickly gets up from his leisurely position and instead sits nervously on the very edge of his seat. In the second it takes her to respond, Buck develops a mental pathway that would allow him to collect the stuff he needs to leave as fast as humanly possible. If Chris is in trouble he isn’t going to waste any time floundering around.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, Christopher is fine. But he is running a high fever and is complaining of some stomach pains, so we’d like to send him home. Are you able to come pick him up?” Buck’s panic lessons slightly knowing that Chris isn’t dying or drowning or, or, orー. But his skin itches with the want to go pick up Chris and see how he is feeling and to just </span>
  <em>
    <span>see</span>
  </em>
  <span> him at all but he doesn’t know if he is allowed to. God he </span>
  <em>
    <span>hatehatehatehates </span>
  </em>
  <span>himself and he can feel the darkness start licking at his ankles but he manages to push it off with thoughts of Christopher sick at school alone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, have you tried calling his dad?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, multiple times but they all rang out so we left a message but he has yet to call back. He informed us that, as a firefighter, he might not be available at all times which is why he has you listed as an alternate emergency contact, Mr. Buckley.” Buck feels his heart swell slightly at the news that, once again, Eddie has trusted him with Christopher. The happiness only lasts for a second before he remembers that he and Eddie aren’t even friends anymore, he probably hasn’t gotten around to taking Buck off the list yet. But that doesn’t matter right now, Buck supposes, Chris does. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>If Eddie hadn’t answered his phone that means that he must be on a call, and a pretty bad one at that. Never before has he understood the expression “between a rock and a hard place” more than this moment. He obviously can’t just leave Chris there but would Eddie be angry that he went and picked up his son? Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. After a second of intense internal debate Buck landed on the fact that Eddie would be way more pissed if he just decided to abandon Chris there. So the younger man is up on his feet half jogging around his apartment while he answers,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can, 20 minutes max.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s good to hear, Mr. Buckley, he’ll be waiting for you in the front office.” They quickly say their goodbyes while Buck scrambles to shove legs into pants and feet into shoes. He grabs his keys and wallet and is out the door in a minute flat thanks to his fore planning. Leaving Chris there longer than absolutely necessary just isn’t an option.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He starts the Jeep and begins making his way to Christopher’s school, thankful that he has long since memorized the path and doesn’t need to mess around with directions. He knows that he is speeding something fierce and, as much as he is terrified that Athena will appear out of nowhere to pull him over, he can’t seem to lighten his foot on the gas pedal. The gods must be shining on him today because he manages to pull into the school parking lot in a mere 15 minutes without getting pulled over. A true miracle in LA.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He flies out of the car and into the school, huffing and puffing his way into what he figures must be the front office. Panic is still nipping at his heels when he walks in, but once he lays his eyes on Chris’ for the first time in </span>
  <em>
    <span>weeks</span>
  </em>
  <span> all of that immediately disappears. All the darkness that seems to follow Buck wherever he goes seems to lighten slightly at seeing the boy and the ridiculously curly hair that he didn’t realize he missed so much. Worry still grips his heart when the smile that Chris gives him is weaker than usual but still so, so bright and he looks like he is mustering all of his energy when he yells,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bucky!” His arms are wide open and reaching out towards Buck clearly asking for a hug and Buck’s heart melts into a puddle at the display. God </span>
  <em>
    <span>damn</span>
  </em>
  <span> did he miss this kid.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Superman!” For the first time in what feels like centuries, Buck’s usual wide, toothy smile is spread across his face when he kneels and pulls the boy into a gentle hug. The way that his hair tickles Buck’s face is so familiar that his heart clenches in his chest and he feels like Chris’ little arms are somehow pulling and keeping him together. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I missed you,” Christopher whispers sleepily into Buck’s ear and one can only describe his voice as content. If Buck’s heart hadn’t just been melted by Chris earlier then it would be completely broken now. Tears are starting to squeeze their way to the surface and Buck just hugs Chris a little tighter.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I missed you too, buddy,” and because that just doesn’t seem to even approach how strongly he feels, he adds a meaningful, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>so much</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Buck let's himself enjoy the contact for a moment or two more before he regretfully pulls away, he is here for a reason, after all. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So I heard you weren’t feeling too good, huh?” Buck tentatively asks, pressing the back of his hand to the boy’s forehead, the heat worrying him significantly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mhhmmm, my tummy hurts </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> bad,” Chris gestures to his stomach before leaning against Buck again, clearly running on fumes at this point. Buck runs a hand through the boy’s curls soothingly,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m sorry bud. Well, I’ll tell you what, I’m going to get you home to a nice warm bed and get you feeln’ better, sound like a plan?” Chris gives him another weak smile, failing to channel all the energy he usually has.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! Piggy back ride?” Buck surprises even himself with the little laugh he lets out before he is quickly turning around and crouching in front of the boy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hop on, kiddo!” While Buck helps Chris settle into the position he can’t help but think about how the constant piggy back rides came about. Christopher, completely out of the blue, decided that he is just too old to be carried around anymore and refused to let Buck or Eddie pick him up. Eddie was kind of a mess about it because sometimes Chris needed help and he didn’t want his son to feel like he </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> do it but he also didn’t want the boy to push himself and get hurt. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Buck ended up suggesting piggy back rides instead because, he figured, you can never be too old for piggy back rides. And one thing led to another before he ended up having to give Eddie one to prove to the boy that there is no age limit on piggy back rides. After that, it quickly became Chris’ favorite way to get from one place to another and Eddie was so excited that Buck had figured out a solution. Buck finds himself smiling at the memory while he grabs Chris’ crutches and starts heading to the car.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>While walking across the parking lot, it hits Buck that he isn’t sure where exactly to take Chris. Since it’s been forever since anyone has been to his own apartment he doesn’t have any kind of food really, definitely nothing to give to a sick kid. But he doesn’t know if he is allowed to go to Eddie’s place at all anymore, much less without the man actually being there. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>does </span>
  </em>
  <span>still have a key, Buck supposes, but that’s probably only because he hasn’t brought it up to Eddie, too afraid he would ask for it back. Buck shakes his head, all the obstacles and social boundaries that he has to navigate now has anxiety starting to tingle underneath his skin. It used to be so </span>
  <em>
    <span>easy</span>
  </em>
  <span> with Eddie, a give and pull that came naturally, and then Buck had to go fucking it all up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When he makes it to the car he decides that he has crossed a lot of lines already so what’s a few more? Plus, all of this is about Chris and what’s best for him right now and the answer to that is obviously his own bed and food that isn’t cold pizza and beer. He slowly sets down the boy and straps him into the car seat that Buck had bought for his Jeep a few months back. Once he is fully secured in, he runs his fingers through Chris’s unruly curls before saying quietly,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Try to get some sleep okay, Superman, we’ll be home soon.” Chris nods sleepily and Buck smiles slightly at the sight before hopping behind the wheel himself and starting up the car. On the drive to Eddie’s he makes sure to minimize bumps and take turns extra smooth to make sure not to bother Christopher at all. He continuously glances at the boy through his back mirror and waits until he is completely down before he pulls out his phone. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Making sure to keep his eyes firmly on the road he asks Siri to call Eddie, all the while thinking about how much he is dreading making this call but he didn’t have a choice. The call, of course, rings out and sends him to voicemail like all of his other attempts to reach anyone on the team. He listens to the voicemail message, his stupid heart skipping beats at the sound of Eddie’s voice because god did he </span>
  <em>
    <span>missmissmiss</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. But once the beep rings he pulls himself back together,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, so I’m sure that you’ve gotten all the voicemails from the school but you must have been on a call or something so they phoned me. You forgot to switch Chris’ emergency contact after...after everything, I guess. But anyway, Chris is fine. He just has a fever and an upset stomach so the school wanted to send him home. I couldn’t just </span>
  <em>
    <span>leave </span>
  </em>
  <span>him there so I went and, uh, picked him up and we are heading back to your place now. I’m sorry if this crosses any boundaries or anything, I just didn’t know what else to do. But I hope the call went okay,” Buck pauses. The earlier feeling of anxiety starts to crawl further and further up his throat but he can’t stop himself from continuing in a much softer voice. “I hope </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> okay,” he lets out a sharp breath, “Alright, uh, bye.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as the call ends, Buck throws his phone into the passenger seat, trying to put some physical distance between himself and that awkward ass call. God, he really hopes that Eddie isn’t mad about this whole thing, or at least not </span>
  <em>
    <span>more </span>
  </em>
  <span>made then he has been. Buck honestly doesn’t know if he would be able to handle it if he was, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally </span>
  </em>
  <span>feels a little better being able to see Chris again. If he is mad, though, Buck understands, just because Eddie </span>
  <em>
    <span>used </span>
  </em>
  <span>to trust him with Chris doesn’t mean that he still does. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Before he is able to get completely swept away by his self doubt, he is pulling up to Eddie’s and his thoughts are shifted back to the sick boy he has in the back seat. He quickly gets out and goes to Chris’ door, gently shaking the boy,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wake up, we’re here, kiddo.” His eyes sleepily blink open and it shouldn’t be as adorable as it is but that’s Chris for you. Buck doesn’t waste any time unbuckling Chris and helping him on his back again before walking up to the front door. A lot of emotions are running through his mind when he slides the key into the lock, he used to do this all the time and now it’s been months. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But he stops himself from spinning out of control again because if he keeps freaking out at every little thing then this is going to be an impossibly long day. So he pulls himself together and steps into the house, kicking off his shoes on pure muscle memory, knowing how much Eddie hates having to clean his carpet. He goes straight to Chris’ room and lowers the boy carefully onto the bed before slowly getting him into his PJs. Muscle memory starts to take over again as he methodically gets the boy ready for bed like he has done so many times before, although usually Chris is talking his ear off. Buck tries a few times to start a light conversation but when Chris still stays silent, worry starts to build more and more but he pushes it down and focuses on the task at hand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Before he knows it the boy is snuggled up in bed, tucked in and surrounded by his stuffed animals that Buck makes sure to arrange the way he knows that Chris likes it. He quickly gets some water and medicine before returning back to his bedside and helping the boy sit up to take them. Once he has gotten the pills down without incident, Buck perches carefully on the edge of the boy's bed, placing a hand delicately on the side of Chris’ face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going to let you sleep, bud, but I’ll be back in a little bit and we’ll see if you are up to eating something, alright?” Chris is barely awake anymore so he isn’t surprised when all he receives is a slow nod. “Call me if you need anything.” Buck leans in and gives Chris a little peck on the forehead, the heat from the boy’s head causing his eyebrows to scrunch up in worry. Right when he is about to pull away he hears Chris mumble,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I...love...you.” Buck’s heart breaks in his chest and he leans his forehead against Chris’ curls, tears starting to prickle in his eyes. He can barely stop his voice from cracking when he manages to get his vocal chords back to working order,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too, Christopher.” He only hesitates a second before he adds, “I’m so sorry I haven’t been around as much lately.” A small, sweaty hand finds Buck’s and grasps it tightly, Buck can’t help the few tears that start to slip down his cheeks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It's o’kay, you...re here...now.” Jesus christ, did Buck love this absolute angel of a child and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>missed </span>
  </em>
  <span>this, he missed this so much that it scares him a little.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes I am,” he whispers confidently planting another firm kiss to Chris’ forehead before pulling away and adding quietly to himself, “I don’t think I can ever leave again, buddy.” He quietly makes his way out of the room, checking that the night light is on before turning off the overhead lights. He takes one more look at the boy sleeping peacefully before closing the door, leaving it open a crack so that he could hear if Chris needed him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Buck wipes the tears out of his eyes while he walks slowly down the hallway before standing in the dead silent living room. He spends a minute not knowing what to do with himself now that Chris is taken care of for a little bit. Before everything blew up he wouldn’t have hesitated to grab a beer and lounge on the couch with some TV until Eddie came home. But just the thought of doing that now makes an intense uneasiness settle in Buck’s bones, one that he is becoming more and more familiar with. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His eyes glance around the living room once again, this time he spots some toys that Chris must have left out this morning and before Buck can stop himself he is picking them up. And then he is tidying up the rest of the living room and washing some dishes that were left in the sink. When that’s all sorted, he remembers it’s Wednesday so Eddie hasn’t forced himself to do the laundry yet so he starts on that next, putting in a new load and folding a basket of clean clothes. Once the clothes are folded and put away, he decides to do a little sweeping and light dusting in the areas that Eddie always has trouble reaching. By the time that he finishes scrubbing the various counters and even the </span>
  <em>
    <span>windows</span>
  </em>
  <span> for god's sake, the house is absolutely spotless. Cartoon sparkles would be floating above every surface with just how shiny and beautiful his work is.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Between all the cleaning and periodically checking in on Christopher to make sure he was alright, an hour has suddenly gone by. He is just starting to make the Buckley’s famous chicken noodle soup when he hears the tell tale sound of keys jingling in the door and his anxiety skyrockets. He slides into the living room just in time to see the door pushing, a little dramatically in Buck’s opinion, open to reveal none other than Eddie himself. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His own panic is pushed aside by the sea of worry that flows through Buck when he sees the state that Eddie is in. He’s wearing his uniform instead of his street clothes like he usually is after getting off a shift. Dark ash is clinging to his cheeks and matting in his messy, wild hair and a sheen of sweat is covering the skin that Buck can see. But it’s his eyes that freak Buck out the most, they are wide, panicked, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>overwhelmingly </span>
  </em>
  <span>scared. Buck knows those eyes, those are Eddie’s full blown Panic Dad Eyes and he immediately knows what happened. He got back from a hard call, saw all the voicemails and came straight here before showering or changing because he was freaking the fuck out. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Buck swiftly moves to stand in front of him, only refraining from reaching out and comforting him because he knows that isn’t what Eddie needs right now. It took him a few tries to understand since Buck himself always feels better after a comforting touch, but Eddie shrinks away from contact when he is stressing the fuck out. He doesn’t want comfort, he wants answers.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Chris is okay, Eddie, he is absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His fever broke a little bit ago and he is sleeping soundly in his room, I was just about to make him some soup. Everything is fine, okay?” Buck tries to keep his voice low and even while looking resolutely into Eddie’s eyes as a way to ground him. It’s clear that the older man is listening intently when tension starts to drain out of his shoulders and his eyes tick a few pegs down on the crazy scale. Buck feels a spark of happiness bloom in his chest at the thought that he is still able to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>this,</span>
  </em>
  <span> that he is still able to help Eddie. The words help to break Eddie out of his stoic, panic mode and he is suddenly on the move, roughly kicking off his shoes and dropping his bags haphazardly on the ground. Without giving Buck a second glance he is shouldering past, making a beeline towards Chris’ room. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The action isn’t shocking and Buck lets it easily slide off his skin, after all, there is a big difference between </span>
  <em>
    <span>hearing </span>
  </em>
  <span>someone is okay and </span>
  <em>
    <span>seeing </span>
  </em>
  <span>it with your own eyes. He silently trails behind the older man and peeks through the open door to see Eddie sitting on the bed the same exact way that Buck was earlier. His stomach fills with idiotic butterflies watching the man relax more and more with each breath his sleeping son takes. Eddie presses a lingering kiss to Chris’ curls while the last of the tension disappears from his muscles and Buck breathes a sigh of relief. When Eddie pulls back Buck starts tip-toeing away, too afraid of getting caught peeping to stay and watch the end of the beautiful father-son moment. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Slipping into the kitchen, Buck seamlessly starts going through the motions of making the familiar soup while his mind wanders. He had just started to mechanically chop up some vegetables when he hears Eddie walk, or more like shuffle, into the kitchen. As soon as he turns to look at him he sees Eddie stumble over his own sluggish feet and start to fall towards the unforgiving ground. Buck’s instincts kick in and within seconds he drops the knife and is catching him, wrapping his arms around Eddie while he lands heavily against Buck’s chest. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Now a thing about Buck is that he is a touchy guy. He has always favored physical affection, maybe too much during his Buck 1.0 years, but platonic touching has always been a part of him, too. Like he needs another reason to regret all this shit with a lawsuit but one of the top ones is that he hasn’t been able to touch </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone </span>
  </em>
  <span>for weeks. Since everyone has been avoiding him he hasn’t even got the chance for a shoulder bump or a high five, much less a hug. So the feeling of another body against him again makes him thrum with energy he hasn’t had since this whole thing started. The fact that the body also happened to be Eddie’s is just a really big plus.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But the feeling is short-lived as Eddie quickly regains his balance and starts to move away. But to Buck’s surprise, he doesn’t move very far at all, he isn’t pressed up against Buck’s chest anymore but he is still firmly in his arms. The contact settles something deep within Buck and if Eddie didn’t look so god damn </span>
  <em>
    <span>exhausted</span>
  </em>
  <span> he might even consider himself happy. Instead he is concerned out of his mind, god he just can’t catch a break with either of the Diaz boys today. He can’t help the intense curiosity and he wants to know so bad what happened during their shift today but he knows better than to ask. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, you okay there, Eds?” Awareness seems to blink itself back into the man’s expression at the question. He shakes his head slightly almost as if he is clearing cobwebs from his brain before looking up and meeting Buck’s gaze.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, just a tough shift and then, y’know, the whole thing with Chris.” He huffs out the kind of sigh that Buck thinks that only fathers are able to make. It’s a loaded sigh, that somehow demonstrates equal parts exhaustion and worry. Knowing that Eddie isn’t going to be able to stay awake much longer Buck gently suggests,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, why don’t you go shower and get more comfortable while I finish dinner?” Since it seems like Eddie is too tired to remember his new found disgust for the younger man, Buck let's his thumbs trace soothing patterns against Eddie’s biceps. He supposes this could be considered taking advantage of the other man but he honestly can’t help himself from mimicking the motion he has done to Eddie so many times before. When he feels the man become more and more like putty in his hands he figures he must not mind much anyway. Eddie eventually nods at Buck’s suggestion but still pauses before actually stepping out and away from Buck’s arms. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He watches him leave the kitchen and head towards his own room and Buck feels a little less freaked out about crossing all those lines. While he turns back to the soup he lets himself imagine that Eddie actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants </span>
  </em>
  <span>him here instead of the much more likely explanations. It doesn’t take him long to finish preparing the remaining elements of the soup, before he knows it the whole concoction just needs to simmer for a few minutes before it’s ready. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Buck stares at the soup for less than a minute before he decides that he can’t just </span>
  <em>
    <span>stand </span>
  </em>
  <span>there and wait. The house couldn’t be cleaner and Chris is still settled so there is only one other person left in the house to help. And he knows how Eddie can get after a shift, cutting corners and suffering the consequences later. I’m sure he wouldn’t be too upset if he just set a few things out to help him. Hopefully, anyway.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Peeking into Eddie’s room he can still hear the water running so he goes over to the man’s closet grabbing what Buck knows are his favorite T-shirt and sweats. He places them gently on the end of Eddie’s bed before disappearing for a second to grab some water and Ibuprofen. He places those near the clothes and without missing a beat he walks to the front door and picks up the bags that Eddie had haphazardly thrown around when he walked in. He straightens the shoes and puts the bags onto their specific hooks so there isn’t any floundering to find them in the morning when Eddie inevitably wakes up late. By the time he sets all that up, he figures that the soup is just about done and goes back into the kitchen to check on it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>While he finishes up dinner, he doesn’t hear anything else from either of the Diaz boys which he counts as a big win. Grabbing their favorite bowls down from the cupboards he starts dishing out Chris’ portion, setting it aside to cool before bringing it to him. While he’s waiting, Eddie walks in looking a little more awake and a lot more refreshed than the last time he saw him. Looking at the man clean and wearing the clothes that Buck set out for him sends a rush of want shooting through his body. No one should look that handsome wearing ratty and hole riddled lounging clothes, it’s just not fair. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Feel better?” He makes sure to keep his voice delightfully neutral since he has absolutely no interest in confessing his feelings tonight, not when he is still so afraid of being kicked out at any moment. If Eddie notices that he is acting kind of weird, he doesn’t say anything so Buck counts that as a success. Eddie’s face doesn’t give much away either, though, which tightens a knot in Buck’s stomach, is he mad at him for leaving out the clothes and stuff? Did he go too far? Damn it, Buck! Damn it, damn it, damn it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Much.” The curt response doesn’t do much to settle the panic growing in Buck’s gut but, he supposes, it’s better than Eddie straight up yelling at him. He tries to play it off,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m glad, you look better.” Well, so much for playing it cool. Just when he thinks that maybe he got away with it, Eddie gives him a look and raises his eyebrows. Shoot.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I mean like, uh, cleaner and your hair isn’t sticking up ten different directions kind of better,” his floundering and stuttering make that no where near a smooth recovery. But Eddie flashes him a </span>
  <em>
    <span>smile</span>
  </em>
  <span>, god he hasn’t seen him smile in </span>
  <em>
    <span>forever </span>
  </em>
  <span>and the sight makes his knees a little weak. He would embarrass himself ten times over to see that smile again. Looking away before he loses all strength in his legs, he gestures to the soup on the stove.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Anyway</span>
  </em>
  <span>, soup is done and I expect you to have a bowl or two because I know that you haven’t eaten since breakfast. While you feast upon my glorious creation, I’m going to try to get Chris to eat some so he can get something in his stomach.” The attempt at a joke kind of falls flat because Eddie is giving him this weird look. It isn’t necessarily bad weird and he kind of recognizes it but it feels meaningful in a way that Buck isn’t ready to think about. Instead he grabs Chris’ bowl and flees the kitchen, hearing Eddie mutter out a weirdly emphasized thank you. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He quietly walks into the boy’s room and sets the soup down on the nightstand before taking his place on the edge of Chris’ bed. Gently shaking the young boy’s shoulder and saying his name quietly and repeatedly eventually succeeds in waking him up as he blinks his eyes open. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bucky?” He slurs Buck’s name in the most adorable and soft way and Buck wonders again for must be the millionth time, how did he get so lucky meeting this kid?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey buddy, how are you feeln’ after your little nap?” Buck carefully places his hand on Chris’ forehead and is relieved that his fever hasn’t come back yet. Chris sleepily grabs at the hand that Buck had placed on his head, exclaiming excitedly,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Much better!” The statement is accompanied with a smile and Buck is beyond happy to see that it is back up to his usual wattage. He literally can’t help himself from pinching one of Chris’ cheeks, the action earning him a joyful laugh that has a wide smile blooming across his own face.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh kiddo, you don’t know how much I missed that smile,” he knows his voice is beyond sappy but the smile he gets in return is worth it. “You up for some soup, big guy?” Chris gives him a pensive look at the question,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you make it or did daddy make it?” The question punches a surprise laugh out of Buck and the expression of emotion feels almost foreign with how little it happens nowadays. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well considering the house hasn’t been burnt down I think we both know that I made it,” Chris gives him the most adorable giggle and Buck has to resist the urge to tickle him to hear more of that perfect sound. Instead he helps sit Chris up when he gives the A-OK to eat soup that he is sure Eddie hadn’t had any part in creating. The boy insists on eating it without any help because he is “too old” for help, so instead Buck just </span>
  <em>
    <span>guides,</span>
  </em>
  <span> which isn’t the same as helping. At least that’s what he tells Chris. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Christopher must be feeling a lot better because he is able to keep a conversation going in between bites of soup and sips of water. He talks about some of the stuff that Buck missed while he was gone but he does it in a way that doesn’t make it feel like Buck is being shunned. It’s a nice change of pace. But the more soup he eats the sleepier and sleepier Chris gets and the way that he has to eventually fight to keep his eyes open and the conversation going is so fricken’ adorable. Chris is minutes from falling back asleep when they are just about done with the small bowl so, Buck figures, that is going to have to be enough. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He takes the bowl out of Chris’ now limp hands and puts it on the nightstand again before helping the little man back down and tucking him in. He places another kiss to Chris’ head and whispers an “I love you” before standing up, grabbing the bowl and turning around. He stops in his tracks when he sees Eddie leaning casually against the door frame holding his own empty bowl. The look on his face is the same as the one he was giving Buck earlier, only now he looks deep in thought and that can’t be good. Anxiety is starting to tug at Buck again but he tries to push it aside while he walks towards the older man. He thought that maybe he could’ve kept up the charade until Eddie said, </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We need to talk.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Well. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So much for keeping the anxiety at bay. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And for thinking that maybe Eddie wasn’t going to yell at him or kick him out for all the stuff he did today. Before Buck can ask any follow up questions the other man just turns on his heel and heads down the hallway. Panic is worming its way back underneath his skin and he feels that uncomfortable pressure building up in his chest. He tries to control his breathing and forces his legs to move towards the living room where he knows Eddie went. The spoon starts clinking insistently against the side of the bowl with how bad Buck’s hands are shaking and he contemplates just making a mad dash for the front door. But as tempting as that may sound, he wouldn’t be able to get himself to do it.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was nice, for a little while at least, to pretend that all of this was his everyday life. To pretend that he would go pick up his son from school and take care of him until his husband gets home and he has to take care of him too. To pretend that he wasn’t all alone and instead he was deliriously happy and surrounded by the two people he loves more in this world than anyone else. But all good things end, it’s time to face the music. If only things had been different.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Buck slowly walks into the living room and sees Eddie sitting on the coffee table across from the couch. Eddie looks over when Buck walks in and gestures for him to come take a seat on the cushion directly across from where he is perched. The set up makes him feel like he is about to get scolded, although he guesses that’s probably not that far off from what’s going to happen. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Before he starts heading to the couch, Buck puts the bowl down on an end table, and, to Buck’s horror, his hands only seem to shake worse without the object. He quickly clasps them together to try to get them to stay steady for even a second under Eddie’s watchful gaze. Buck hangs his head and looks resolutely down at the ground while he shuffles over to his seat, absolutely terrified at seeing the expression on the other man’s face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He has lots of fond memories of this couch and, once upon a time, he wouldn’t be more relaxed anywhere else, but at this moment that feels like centuries ago. Now he couldn’t be stiffer, all of his muscles tense and pulled together in a way that makes him seem smaller while he continues to stare downwards. To his absolute horror Eddie doesn’t say anything, letting them stew in the silence, with every second that ticks by he is pulled tighter and tighter. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you want to talk about?” He says quietly when he just can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>handle</span>
  </em>
  <span> the quiet for one more second. His voice makes it painfully obvious just how anxious and scared this whole situation is making him and he hates himself for being so see through. If Eddie hears it, which Buck knows that he does, he doesn’t say anything or react in any noticeable way which does nothing to settle his nerves. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You picked up my sick child from school, took care of him, cleaned the house, took care of </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and made dinner.” He doesn’t sound mad, his tone is more accurately described as detached and factual. So Buck doesn’t know what else to do other than nod, swearing he can hear his muscles groan from the tense movement. “Why would you do all that,” Buck’s heart drops and his eyes squeeze shut preparing for the next words, “when we've</span>
  <em>
    <span>ーI've</span>
  </em>
  <span> been nothing but an ass to you since this whole thing started?” Buck’s eyes fly open and snap up to Eddie’s is absolute shock.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“W-what?” This time it’s Eddie who breaks eye contact, hanging his head in what Buck can only describe as shame.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Buck, we have been </span>
  <em>
    <span>horrible</span>
  </em>
  <span> to you. Not helping you, ignoring you, and guiliting you every given chance even though we all know you’re struggling. I mean, for god's sake, just last week I used my own </span>
  <em>
    <span>son</span>
  </em>
  <span> as a way to make you feel guilty and to </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt</span>
  </em>
  <span> you, that just isn’t okay.” Eddie has such a pained look on his face that Buck can’t help himself from trying to cut in,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Eddiー”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Now don’t get me wrong, Buck, telling them all that personal stuff about us was shitty. But I’m tired of pretending that this isn’t all a little our fault, that it isn’t a little bit </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>fault.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no, it wasー” Eddie gives him a scathing look that has any protest dying in his throat and he figures that maybe he should just let him get this off his chest. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I wasn’t there for you when you were struggling before the whole lawsuit debacle. I was too caught up in my own shit and I left you hanging and I don’t get to just let myself off the hook for that. Not when I promised to have your back.” Tentative hands grab one of Buck’s, completely engulfing it in the rough, warm skin that Buck could recognize as Eddie’s with his eyes closed. The older man takes a breath before continuing,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I am really sorry, Evan. I’m sorry that I failed you and broke my promise. You are so very important to me and Chris and I want you to feel like you can always talk to me no matter how far I have my head shoved up my ass.” Tears are freely streaming from Buck’s eyes at this point and he knows that it would be hopeless to try and stop them. He still manages a little chuckle at Eddie’s attempt at a joke before it dissolves into a sob again and he is just feeling so much emotion that he doesn’t know what to do with himself. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Thankfully, Eddie seems to just </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>and, without missing a beat, he pulls the younger man into a tight hug and it becomes abundantly clear this is exactly what Buck needs. Before he is able to stop himself, he wraps his arms tight around Eddie’s shoulders, clutching at the back of his shirt while he sobs into the man’s neck. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Eddie. I just w-wanted my job b-b-back and then everything just g-got so out of </span>
  <em>
    <span>hand</span>
  </em>
  <span> and, andー” He tries to talk through his sobs, to say anything that has been building up in his soul since all of this happened. No one has tried to </span>
  <em>
    <span>listen </span>
  </em>
  <span>to him, everyone just </span>
  <em>
    <span>yells </span>
  </em>
  <span>at him or </span>
  <em>
    <span>ignores </span>
  </em>
  <span>him and he just wants to go back to being loved and part of a family. “I d-d-don’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>care</span>
  </em>
  <span> about the j-job a-anymore, I just w-w-want you guys back. I just don’t want to be alone a-anymore.” And although he has so much to say he can’t get the words past the sobs that are still racking through his body and blocking his throat. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Again, like Eddie can sense the struggle that he is having, he starts to gently rock the two of them. Revolving between shushing him soothingly and mumbling “you aren’t alone” and “we still love you” in his ear while holding him close and tightly to his chest. Eddie continues this pattern until eventually Buck manages to calm down and get himself under control enough to pull away. Arms tighten around him before he is able to get very far and Buck will be the first to tell you that he wasn’t planning on going much further. But seeing the man’s face distorted and crunched in worry causes a guilty feeling to start shooting through his limbs.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Eddie, I am so sorry,” the way that his voice keeps breaking is embarrassing but he pushes through because he feels he </span>
  <em>
    <span>has </span>
  </em>
  <span>to apologize. But Eddie seems to disagree, shaking his head at the apology before finding one of Buck’s hands again and squeezing it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to be sorry, Buck, I forgave you a long time ago. I mean I even changed you to Chris’ emergency contact when this whole law thing started going down.” Buck’s jaw dropped. “Hey, when I said that there wasn’t anyone I trusted more with my son than you, I wasn’t lying. You were just after Carla before all this because if I wasn’t able to answer then chances are, you wouldn’t have been able to either. But since you aren’t working and have been doing a lot better, of course I bumped you up that list, no question about it.” He said it so casually, like it was just the facts and was the obvious line of thinking but it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>blowing</span>
  </em>
  <span> Buck’s mind. Fighting another break down, Buck squeezed Eddie’s hand back before tearfully stating,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That means, uh, that means a lot to me, Eddie. More than you’ll ever know.” More tears start slipping down his cheeks and by now Buck knows it’s hopeless to fight them. Eddie nods in the stupid meaningful way that he does and pulls Buck back in for another hug, holding him just as tight. Against the older man’s neck, Buck mumbles out, “I forgive you, too. And thank you for actually listening to me, no one does that anymore.” Eddie doesn’t give him a verbal response and instead tightens his hold just slightly, as if to say that he would never make the mistake of not listening ever again. Needless to say, it’s one of the most comforting things Buck has ever experienced. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After a few more moments of enjoying being wrapped up tight in the comforting heat and hard muscle that is Eddie, he figures he has to pull away at some point. The longer that Buck pushes off the inevitable, the harder it’ll be to do. So summoning some power deep inside him, he manages to pull out of Eddie’s arms enough to put some distance between the two of them. He resolutely ignores the part of his brain that is comparing the movement to the feeling of getting his soul ripped in half. That is just too dramatic for him to deal with right now. Instead, he starts wiping the tears out of his eyes so he can, at the very least, see Eddie when he asks,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are we okay now?” His voice breaks and he still sounds so vulnerable and maybe if this was anyone else he would be embarrassed but he couldn’t really care less right now. One of Eddie’s hands gently cup Buck’s face, his thumb sweeps across his tear stained cheek and his eyes are shining when he says,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, Ev, we’re good.” The younger man lets out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. For the first time in weeks he feels like he might be finally out of the woods and he couldn’t be happier. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Good, because I’ve missed you and Chris like </span>
  <em>
    <span>crazy</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he tries to make it sound like a joke but the inflection is all wrong and it comes out way too truthful. And it isn’t like he is trying to hide the fact that he missed his boys, he just doesn’t want to reveal too much. But the tone slip up is rewarded by that same god damn </span>
  <em>
    <span>look</span>
  </em>
  <span> that Eddie keeps giving him and he is like three seconds away from calling the older man out on it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ve missed you too, so much. Chris asks about you every single day and you saw the state of the house without your nervous cleaning.” The two break into giggles and Buck pretends to be offended even though he knows that he isn’t fooling anyone. Once they sober up again, Eddie levels him with a serious look, “But I really missed my best friend, my day just isn’t the same without that gold retriever excitement, Buckley.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And mine aren’t the same without those trademark Diaz puppy dog eyes.” They both breakout into more giggles and Buck is feeling more like himself then he has in,what feels like, forever. This is exactly what he missed so much, just messing around with his best friend like they used to. But as much as he wants to just enjoy this moment, his brain just keeps thinking just how beautiful Eddie looks with his wide smile and bright eyes. How good he looks laughing and trying desperately to catch his breath. The sight makes him so happy that he doesn’t even register the words before they are already out of his stupid mouth.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oh shit.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shit. Shit. Shit. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shit.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Buck lets out a dramatic gasp and slaps over his mouth like that could in some way take back the words that he already said. He watches with wide eyes as Eddie stops mid laugh to just stare at him with his own set of wide eyes. Behind his hand, Buck muttered out a few more curse words before removing his hand to flail them around instead.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, what was that? Christopher is calling me? Well I better go, y’know, see what that little scamp is up to in a room that is definitely not this one.” And, with that, Buck tries to flee into a literal child’s room like the adult man that he is and he actually manages to make it a few good steps. For maybe a millisecond he thinks that maybe he’ll make it before a hand curls around his wrist and pulls just enough to stop him in his tracks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nonononononono</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>have this conversation right now. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He tries to get out of Eddie’s grasp but every time he tries to pull his hand free, Eddie’s hold becomes tighter and tighter. After a few pulls with absolutely no success his attempts become weaker and weaker,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on, Eddie, please let me go.” Buck continues to try and pull free but Eddie’s hold is as resolute as ever which doesn’t surprise Buck, not really. He knows that he doesn’t give up easily, if at all, stubborn bastard.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Buck,” the younger man can’t identify the tone, which does absolutely nothing to quell any of the doubts that are screaming in his face. He turns his body slightly so that he could see Eddie’s face which doesn’t give anything away either so he turns his gaze back to the ground. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>got you back and I can’t lose you again, okay? So let's just pretend that, for once in my goddamn life, I kept my mouth shut.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No can do, Buck”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Eddie.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean, I guess I could, but I think we’ll both like my plan a lot more.” There is a tone of humor in Eddie’s voice that makes him look up again from the ground. And boy was he glad that he did, because spreading across Eddie’s face is the most </span>
  <em>
    <span>breathtaking </span>
  </em>
  <span>smile and his eyes are </span>
  <em>
    <span>shining</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the sight is enough to stop Buck’s heart in his chest. But as much as he is enjoying it, the expression still confuses the hell out of him, why would Eddie be smiling like that at him after...after...oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No way,” the younger man exclaims under his breath. It’s just not possible that Eddie loves him back, he’s gotta be reading this all wrong. Buck’s obvious confusion doesn’t seem to deter Eddie’s smile in the slightest, the grin might even get a little wider.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it really all that surprising?” Something in Buck’s face must give away the fact that he does indeed find that tremendously surprising because Eddie barks out a laugh. Before he has the chance to be offended, Eddie tugs at Buck’s wrist and he lets himself get pulled into the older man’s space. Once Eddie deems him close enough, he lets go of Buck’s wrist and instead places his hands on the younger man’s hips, securing him in Eddie’s space. On instinct, Buck’s hands immediately curl around Eddie’s biceps in reciprocation, feeling the hard muscle move and contract underneath his grip.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh come on, Evan, I’ve been told that the Diaz family has a bad case of heart eyes,” He still has that groundbreaking smile stretched across his lips and the corner of his eyes are crinkling in the most adorable way. Buck’s own lips start to pull into their own smile when the panic and shock finally wears off, and it gets it through his thick skull that this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The older man pretends to think for a second before he continues speaking, “Well I suppose since I’ve been in love with you pretty much since I met you, I didn’t give you much of a chance to see my normal eyes.” He thinks that his heart might just beat out of his chest at this rate but couldn’t care less. This is hands down the best day of his life, not including the day that he met Christopher, of course.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re really in love with me?” Eddie just pulls him in closer so that there are mere inches between their lips, their noses are just barely touching. Buck can’t look away from Eddie’s lips, even the thought of them is absolutely intoxicating. A hand leaves his waist to instead cradle his head,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Head over heels, </span>
  <em>
    <span>mi amor</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Buck feels giddy, like actual and truly giddy, he could start bouncing off the walls in happiness. His whole chest feels light, finally free of the suffocating pressure that he has had to deal with for the past months. When he sees the truly perfect man in front of him close his eyes and lean in, nothing could have stopped him from doing the same. A fucking hurricane could have come blasting right through the living room and he still would have leaned forward to kiss the love of his life. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Never in his entire existence has Buck experienced a kiss that even compared to the feeling of kissing Eddie. It’s passionate and perfect and everything that Buck wanted in his entire life, it’s almost as if he can </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> the love through the kiss. The feeling of being loved washes over him in the most comforting way, so, so different from the overwhelming sadness that was swallowing him whole just this morning. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Buck has struggled with the concept of home his entire life, never thinking that he belongs anywhere has made it impossible to understand the feeling of belonging. But kissing Eddie for, hopefully, the first of many, many times, has the distinct feeling of coming home. It’s so strong that Buck can almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel </span>
  </em>
  <span>a piece of him that has been broken for years, since he was a child, heal seamlessly deep within his heart. It’s an experience that he isn’t giving up anytime soon, that’s for damn sure. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When they break apart it’s for air, nothing else besides the need to breathe would have been able to get the two men to actually disconnect. They are both panting between a series of truly high pitched giggles and smiles that's brightness rivaled Christopher’s own shining smile. Buck </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> that his expression is probably giving far too much away because Eddie is flashing him a shit eating grin, but he can’t really bring himself to care.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“See, I told you my plan was better.” Buck lets out a joyful chuckle before leaning forward and burying his face into the safety of Eddie’s shoulder and wrapping him in a hug.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, you win this time, Diaz,” His voice is a little muffled by Eddie but he must hear it anyway because he lets out his own beautiful laugh.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think we both won there, Buckaroo.” Buck can’t help himself from pulling him into another kiss and he is absolutely delighted to discover that the second kiss is just as perfect as the first. And he could have stayed there forever, kissing the love of his life but Eddie suddenly disconnects their lips. Before he has a chance to panic, Eddie’s mouth opens into a truly impressive yawn that lasts longer than any yawn should. The man has got to be exhausted, I mean he just got off a 24 hour shift and had </span>
  <em>
    <span>two</span>
  </em>
  <span> separate conversations about his feelings. Buck still barks out a laugh at the sight and when Eddie looks like he is about to apologize, Buck shakes his head,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let's get you to bed, babe.” This time it’s Eddie that drops his head onto Buck’s shoulder and he starts to sway them back and forth gently. The comforting motion and peaceful quiet is making Eddie even more tired, and apparently when he is really tired he turns into a child. This becomes painfully obvious when the veteran starts whining,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But I wanna kiss you more.” Buck is highly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>highly </span>
  </em>
  <span>enjoying this new side of Eddie that has somehow escaped him until now. I mean he has, of course, seen Tired Eddie and sure he gets kind of clingy but this is a whole new level. Even though he is clearly dead on his feet, Eddie is still mouthing at Buck’s neck and moving closer and closer back to Buck’s lips. Buck wants to give in so bad because it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>wet</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>good </span>
  </em>
  <span>but he knows Eddie is about to literally fall asleep so he swats his head slightly to get those lips to stop.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sleep first, kiss later. These smackers will definitely still be here in the morning, Eds.” Eddie lets out a high pitched whine at the words, and Buck has to bite his lip because it is so damn </span>
  <em>
    <span>cute</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow, you’re worse than Chris,” Buck smiles at the disgruntled noise that Eddie makes into his neck. Muttering a quiet “mean” under his breath while he continues to lean his entire body weight on Buck. When it becomes clear to the younger man that Eddie is literally about to fall asleep against him, he pulls away from the embrace slowly. Eddie nearly falls flat on his face for the second time tonight but Buck steadies him and manages to herd him down the hallway and into his room. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Once Eddie is snuggled under the covers and boneless against the mattress, Buck attempts to pull away from the bed. But before he is able to get very far, one of Eddie’s hands curls into Buck’s shirt and stops him in his tracks. Sleepy eyes peer at Buck through piles of blankets and his words are heavily slurred when he says,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where…’ya goin’?” His eyes keep slowly slipping closed while he struggles to stay awake and it is literally the most adorable thing he has ever seen. Finally he understands where Chris got all of his cuteness from. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m just going to check on Chris really fast,” he is quick to reassure, not wanting Eddie to think that he is leaving him, because that couldn’t be more off base. Eddie’s sleepy eyes soften in a way that is so familiar and Buck can’t help but remind himself of these heart eyes that the Diaz’s supposedly have. The thought makes him smile uncontrollably.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you,” Eddie mumbles, still fighting off sleep tooth and nail. The words cause so much warmth to bloom in his chest. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, too.” The words seem to settle something in Eddie and he lets go of Buck’s shirt, letting his hand drop down heavily on the bed. Buck starts to move away when it seems like the other man has finally let sleep take him but when he makes it to the door he hears him speak up again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re comin’ back right?” Turning on his heel he looks back at Eddie who is sitting up a little higher than he was a second before. Buck’s heart breaks for a second, it’s nice to get some emotional vulnerability from someone else for a change. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, Eds, I’m going to be impossible to get rid of, one of these days you are going to be wishn’ I don't come back.” Eddie levels him with a look that can only be described as exhausted fondness.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That is never going to happen, Evan Buckley, now that I’ve got you I’m never letting you go.” And with that absolutely heartfelt statement that has Buck literally shaking from happiness, the older man promptly falls asleep, loud snores filling the bedroom. This is the man he has chosen to fall in love with and he couldn’t help but think that he has excellent taste. And as he pads his way down the hallway to go check on Chris, he hopes that he’ll get to do this for the rest of his life. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And he does.</span>
</p>
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